Just to warn you up front, we’re talking about “change” again this week. Fortunately, it’s not the Obama-hugger kind of change; this time it’s the kind of change that cities struggle with as they grow.

Maple Valley has to make another review of its comprehensive plan, which is sort of like the city’s map of where the houses, parks and strip malls will go over the next 20 years. It has to be updated every 5-7 years, and we’re due for another refresher.

No big deal, right? Most of the work seems to be done, and we don’t have that many places left to build on (over 86 percent of the city’s land has been developed). Well, we’re going to have some meetings on the remaining 14 percent anyway.

On Tuesday night, I gate-crashed a presentation of the “Community Growth Assessment Project” in Maple Valley, which is a nice cover-up for the real title, “How do we get Old Maple Valley and New Maple Valley to have respectful conversations about building new shopping centers and parks?”

That’s the challenge presented to Dan Singer, a professional business consultant and educational psychologist who was hired to sort out this mess. He started interviewing the city’s VIPs a few months ago, to learn what they think of the city’s current comprehensive plan.

Most of them have never read it, and a lot of people don’t know that one even exists. However, nearly every citizen has opinions on the subject, such as, “When will we have ball fields?,” “I thought Albertsons/Swedish Medical Center/Trader Joe’s was going to come out here?,” or “There are too many houses.”

Singer has a tough job ahead of him. He’s been tasked with bridging the gap between Old Maple Valley and New Maple Valley, in a way that will allow them to talk to each other nicely. His handout on Tuesday night emphasized goals for both groups, such as open communication, honesty, respect and collaboration.

If these sound like pretty basic interpersonal skills to you, well, they do to me too. Amazingly enough, you can make a highly lucrative career out of selling these skills to people who don’t have them.

In Maple Valley’s case, the leaders of the Old and New groups don’t use these skills. Instead, they use the City Council as a proxy battle for deciding what direction the city will take. The New finally wrestled away control from the Old last year, and the simmering tension between the two groups continues.

The meeting on Tuesday night brought together some representatives from both sides, and we got to see a master psychologist at work. Rather than simply admonishing them that they need to communicate better, he left it up to them to decide on how they can do it themselves. He offered some suggestions, posed a few questions, and waited patiently for the light bulbs to appear over their heads.

Finally, a few light bulbs did appear, and they agreed to meet again in January. At the end of it all, he promised that during the next meeting, they will all discuss some painfully honest truths about themselves.

All of this, just to refresh a plan for the remaining 14 percent of vacant land in the city? Yes, but it’s really about getting the Old and New groups to play nice, and to get regular citizens more involved. By the way, these aren’t big groups of people we’re talking about; this is fewer than 30 people who are responsible for most of the bickering and tension. Everyone else is on the outside looking in, either trying to get involved in the discussion, or has already given up completely.

Bridging the Old and New gap will take more than just a couple of discussions on respecting the opposition. Both groups hold very strong opinions on what they believe is best for the city, and some of these feuds go back several years.

Just like marriage counseling, both sides will have to use that stilted, uncomfortable language to talk to the other side, such as “I hear you saying that you want to put a mega-mall next door to my house, and I respect your opinion,” or “I respect your decision to buy that stupid money pit; I mean, beautiful golf course.” OK, I’m not helping here; maybe I should be forced to attend that meeting.

Hopefully, this professional psychologist will be able to cure what we haven’t been able to do on our own. Do you know how many psychologists it takes to change a light bulb? Only one, but the light bulb has to want to change.