When I first started out in my faith journey, I was convinced I had found the best church, the best music, the best people and the correct and superior theology. A sense of superiority and a prideful exclusivity crept into my life. Eventually it came back to bite me and I realized I had developed a way of thinking that was opposite of the inclusive nature Christ displayed as He went about doing good and healing all who were oppressed.

Eventually, I went into ministry as a youth pastor, and then 14 years later my wife and I started a church. I remember thinking “I want to build something more than a place that people come to hear a great message. I want to create an atmosphere or an environment that feels like a family of real people. A place, a message and a culture that applies to our real lives. A church that meets real needs, considers real questions, and makes sense in the world lived outside of the church going culture.”

What we have found over the last 13 years as pastors is that the core values found in the scriptures stem from a spirit of love. Love is God and God is love scripture tells us. That love is most easily found in a Christ-like community.

Twenty years ago, people would come to church every week to learn, sing, and leave happy. Today we can learn and sing along with the world’s best listening to our iPods or by streaming live church services on the internet. We used to save up all our spiritual questions for Sunday and ask the pastor, but now we can “Google” them on our phone.  And you may have noticed that there is an overwhelming population of us who believe that God still loves and talks to us even if we don’t go to church. So, this causes many of us to ask “Why even have churches then?”

Back to the thought about community — this is the one thing you can’t get from a iPod or by going online.  “Community,” the face-to-face interaction, the conversations and the personal relationships that touch your soul. Not social networking but people doing life together. Having a church family is like expanding the ways God can bring love into your life.  It’s a place where you get more than a religious experience or a get-out-of-hell free card. It’s a place where you are needed, wanted, and celebrated. The church family can be and needs to be a safety net for some, accountability for others and a mission or cause for many.

I’ve kind of always known this but it wasn’t until my wife and I personally needed our church family that we realized how valuable it was.

I remember so well the day we needed to share a struggle that we had going on with one of our three sons. We couldn’t handle it on our own, so we turned to our church family and they embraced us, prayed and reached in to help us successfully navigate that difficult season.

We are confident that season was shortened because of their support. We felt humbled and loved.

Last week I sat with a group of 12 people who gathered around a lady in our church family who has a rare form of cancer and facing tough decisions and difficult treatments. As we prayed, hugged, cried, and laughed, her response was “I love my church family; it’s what keeps me going.”

Recently I spent three days with local pastors from several churches in a beautiful log home in the mountains. These are guys I have been praying with for our community for more than 12 years.

We are more than neighbors, we’re true friends. We share our victories, frustrations, hurts and our ideas freely. We often differ in our theology but the love in that community of pastors wins out over any differences of doctrine we may have. This group of pastors all belong to different church associations or denominations but it’s in this family atmosphere we find true safety.

This is the love that comes from God through community. This is what we all need and really what we all crave.  What if you were to find a local church family where the love of God was present?

Somewhere, some place there is a church community that is missing a member, that when they arrive, will bring to that community what they need and that member may be you.

Steve Murray is the pastor of Real Life Church a community of real people who do life together. Currently meeting at Kentlake High School.