Editor’s noted: This is the second in a three part series about teen drug and alcohol use in Maple Valley. The third part will run in March. The names and some identifying details of the teen and parent in this story have been changed to protect their privacy.

David’s mom tried to warn him about drugs and alcohol, but he had to learn the hard way.

His mother, Andrea, was concerned because of a family history of alcoholism.

“I had told them not to get into drugs or drinking because they were just addicts waiting to happen,” Andrea recalled.

But, her two youngest children, David and Amanda got into it anyway.

In fact, the siblings began doing drugs together.

David, now a junior at Tahoma High, had experimented with alcohol while still in junior high.

“My sister and my neighbor had started smoking pot when I was a freshman,” he said. “We all just kind of started smoking pot when I was 14, he was 15 and she was 16.”

He said he didn’t think anything of trying marijuana and many of his peers smoke pot and drink.

“I had been good my whole life,” he said. “I didn’t really think the decision through. I thought, ‘Sure, why not?’”

David explained that there are two types of people who use, those “who have problems with their family and they use, or they use and then they have problems.”

Addiction, he noted, doesn’t discriminate, either.

Initially he would smoke pot once a week.

“Then it escalated pretty fast,” David said. “It wasn’t all day, every day, but we’d smoke every day.”

He was smoking daily in just a matter of a few weeks.

During this time he didn’t smoke anywhere near his family’s home and kept it hidden from his parents. He was playing sports and doing all right in school. Using didn’t seem to have an impact on that. At least not at first.

Besides, among his teammates smoking and drinking was an acceptable part of the culture, so he didn’t really see anything wrong with it.

“After a while we’d smoked pot so much… we were ready to do other things,” he said. “It was a conscious decision for the three of us. We wanted to try other things. Some of the things I did (while using) were pretty ridiculous. It’s amazing I even played sports.”

For more than six months he smoked pot every day and didn’t get caught.

Even when he did the message didn’t seem to sink in.

“The first few times I got caught it didn’t teach me anything,” David said. “It taught me to be more secretive.”

THEY TRIED TO MAKE ME GO TO REHAB
Toward the end of ninth grade, Andrea said, she and her husband had to “start getting after him about his grades.”

His sister, Amanda, who was smoking with him was on the honor roll at the time and doing well.
David said for some reason she could function while using but he couldn’t.

“It gets pretty obvious (you’re using) after a while,” he said. “You start doing weird things.”

And eventually he got caught at school. He was suspended.

In order to get the suspension shortened, David explained, he opted to go to counseling, which cut the suspension in half.

Initially Andrea took him to a counselor in Renton.

“That place was a joke,” David said.

It was certainly one end of the spectrum of treatment approaches, his mom said.

“They interviewed him and talked to me,” she said. “They said, ‘He’s fine.’ I had a nagging feeling that things were worse than that.”

So, she spoke with Monica Robbins, who works with the Tahoma School District as a prevention and intervention specialist.

Andrea thought David needed more structure than the suggested once a week sessions at the Renton facility.

Eventually they ended up at Lakeside-Milam Recovery Center where David enrolled in intensive outpatient treatment.

He went three times a week and also started attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings.

“They told me if I stayed out of trouble I wouldn’t have to go inpatient,” David said. “At first I thought it was a joke.”

David was not pleasant to be around then, Andrea said.

“The first few meetings were rough for him,” she said. “I went down there with him. Finally he poked me and said, ‘Mom, you can leave now.’”

David said he met some interesting people and found it to be an educational experience.

It took some time for him to realize he was an addict.

“About like a month or two in I started realizing normal people don’t need to get high every day,” he said “Normal people don’t need to get high before they go to school, they don’t need to get high before they go to sleep, they don’t need to do anything just to catch a buzz.”

For nine months he was clean and sober.

Then he relapsed.

“Getting high is a powerful motivator,” he said. “It was like I wasn’t even clean for nine months.”

He went and spoke to Robbins after he got in trouble for using.

David did not want to go through outpatient treatment again.
“I didn’t try to lie about it, I was honest,” he said. “I had learned that lying doesn’t get you anywhere. I’ve stayed clean since then. I go to AA meetings once or twice a week.”

RECOVERY REVELATIONS

Since he began his journey of recovery it is clear David, who is a smart and articulate teenager, has learned some important lessons that other kids can take away.

“I want to do things with my life,” he said. “I know that if I do drugs and alcohol those things aren’t going to happen for me. I finally just figured out school this year.”

After struggling in school, especially while going through treatment, David is earning As and Bs this year.

He also knows exactly who is to blame for his addiction.

“You’re not in control of anybody but yourself,” David said. “Nobody made me do anything.”
For him, at least, there is more to life than getting wasted.

“I don’t even know what my view is on drugs and drinking and teens anymore,” he said. “Some people are ticking time bombs. If that’s what you want to do, you need to accept the consequences.”

David and Andrea both have insight for parents, as well.

“A majority of parents out there are very ignorant of what their children are doing,” David said. “They should just be open with their kids. They should be able to have conversations with their kids about what’s going on in their lives. There’s got to be honesty and trust or else it’s going to be a game of cat and mouse.”

He said parents can’t keep their kids from making bad choices.

“Don’t overreact if you catch your kids doing something,” David said. “Talk to your kid. Don’t be too confrontational about it.”

Andrea said her kids’ use had an impact on her marriage because she wanted to act sooner on her instincts that something was wrong.

“Sometimes I would feel so angry and yet on the same part I would feel so bad (for her son),” she said.

She encourages parents to trust their instincts.

“If you have any feeling that you don’t think things are going right, don’t feel bad if you say, ‘Well, youknow, maybe I better go get an evaluation,’” Andrea said. “Don’t be afraid to check around at different places. My advice would be if one place doesn’t feel right, try something else, don’t give up.”

Tahoma School District students regularly participate in a healthy youth survey. Data from 2006 shows that a large number of teens dabble in drug and alcohol use.
Here is a sampling of some of the data collected:

• Of the sophomores surveyed in 2006, 54.8 percent said they had taken more than a sip of beer, wine or hard liquor.
• More than a quarter of sophomores had tried marijuana, 26.6 percent.
• Nearly 70 percent said they did not smoke cigarettes.
• Just over 25 percent of respondents said they had consumed alcohol in the past 30 days, the state average for the survey was 32.8 percent, while 16.9 percent had used an illegal drug in the past 30 days.

Here is a starter guide for anyone looking for help to deal with addiction.

Outpatient Alcohol and Drug Services
All About Choices 253-218-0317
Auburn Youth Resources 253-939-2202
Kent Youth and Family Services 253-859-0300
Lakeside-Milam Auburn 253-859-6436
Lakeside-Milam Renton 206-248-4358
Lakeside-Milam Issaquah 425-392-8468
Renton Area Youth Services 425-271-5600
Youth Eastside Services 425-747-4937

Inpatient Alcohol and Drug Services
Daybreak (Spokane) 509-624-3227
Lakeside-Milam Burien 1-800-544-1211
Ryther Child Center (Seattle) 206-525-5050
St. Peter’s (Lacey) 1-800-332-0465
Sundown Ranch (Yakima) 1-800-326-7444

Community Mental Health Services
Catholic Community Services 206-328-5774
Kent Youth and Family Services 253-859-0300
Valley Cities Counseling 253-939-4055
Auburn Youth Resources 253-939-2202

Other Family Services
Auburn Teen Clinic 253-833-8325
CPS King County 1-800-562-5624
DSHS 253-872-2270
Family Reconciliation Services 1-800-562-5624
DAWN 425-656-7867

Help Lines
Alcohol and Drug Help Line 1-800-562-1240
Alateen 206-625-0000
Alcoholics Anonymous 206-587-2838
Narcotics Anonymous 206-790-8888