Graduation ceremonies loom for students in the Tahoma and Kent school districts this weekend.

Having sat through a few of these myself, I can tell all the members of the graduating class of 2011, it’s unlikely you’ll remember a bit of it.

Next week will mark the 15th anniversary of my march across the stage at Bellevue Community College as I received an empty folder where my diploma from Interlake High would eventually live out its days.

My apologies to whomever got up and spoke. I’m sure the student and the staff member or rock star or politician who stood on that stage said some great things. I just remember being horribly uncomfortable in a blouse and skirt under my graduation gown wishing it would hurry up and be over.

Also, in all honesty, I was nervous about walking across the stage. Would anyone cheer? Boo? Would it be silent? Would I trip? Oh, please, God, don’t let me trip. And, also, God, while you’re at it, help me remember which hand to grab my empty diploma folder with and which hand to shake with, please?

Afterward, my new boyfriend hugged me (the guy I later married) and gave me flowers, my mom looked relieved it was over, my sister told me she was proud of me, other stuff happened and I made my way out of the BCC gym.

Clearly it was a memorable night.

I’ve been thinking to myself how worked up I was my entire senior year of high school for that moment, how it was this huge crowning achievement, how I would feel amazing and free when it was all over.

Instead, it was bittersweet, at best.

I was shoving myself out of my comfort zone in a few months. My plan was to go to Gonzaga University where I did not know a soul and start from scratch.

My graduating class was something like 220 students. Compared to the size of the graduating classes at our local high schools, that is tiny, and I was a leader in high school. I had friends. I had mentors. I knew my role. I had a place.

As I’ve reflected on my graduation from high school I’ve thought about what I would tell myself if I could go back in time, knowing what I know now, and tell the 17-year-old freshly minted high school graduate Kris one sage piece of advice.

Before I get to that, I posed that same question on Twitter and Facebook.

One friend, Matt, said his advice would be, “Lighten up.”

Good advice. I was so stressed out senior year and for no reason. Everything worked out just fine.

And this is a time in life not only when you will make mistakes but you can because it’s expected. The trick is learning from it. And lighten up because most mistakes made between the ages of 18 and 22 are the kinds of the things that will make you a better person.

Dace Anderson, president of Dace’s Rock ‘n’ More in Maple Valley, quoted “The Four Agreements” by don Miguel Ruiz.

“Don’t do things just because you think you’re supposed to do those things. Instead… 1. Be impeccable with your word. 2. Don’t take anything personally. 3. Don’t make assumptions. 4. Always do your best. Don’t believe anything anybody says and… don’t believe anything you say.”

Anderson said “The Four Agreements” changed his life. In that case, it’s pretty good advice, therefore read and heed!

My friend Barbara said, “Your life will be full of joy and surprises. Don’t worry so much about the future.”

This I totally agree with because my life is so much better than I thought it would turn out. My plan was to go to Gonzaga, graduate, get married, go get a job a big daily paper and make a name for myself.

I ended up taking a more meandering path but I believe I am a better person for it.

Emmily, a former journalist, blogger and friend from the days I worked in Las Vegas, put it differently.

“Despite what everyone says about these being the best years of your life, I’m here to tell you it gets better,” she posted to my Facebook profile. “The only thing standing in your way to having true happiness, true love and a good life is being open to releasing past pain and anger. You can find your greatest power in vulnerability (with the right people). And I would tell myself that things don’t go according to plans. And sometimes that leads to the best things!”

So. Very. True.

Rather than stay at Gonzaga I ended up transferring to the University of Washington. I grew up a UW fan and never thought I would be able to go to school there.

My grades at Interlake were not great. High school was boring. I didn’t truly feel challenged until my senior year. I earned As and Bs with a smattering of Cs but I always should have been a straight A student. I didn’t have to work terribly hard, though, to carry a B average. And as a result I cruised through high school.

So, UW was never on my radar because I didn’t have the numbers to get in.

Yet, I ended up there anyway and it truly was a dream come true.

And that’s why my friend Jenn’s advice is so good.

“Be open to change,” she said. “We get so set in our ways we don’t realize that some of the best things in life happen on the detour.”

Ending up at UW was a result of a detour but I am fortunate to have had both the small, private college and large, public university experiences.

Taking that detour made me a better person even if it was scary at the time.

My favorite teacher in high school, Bob Haynes, used to tell me to do the things that scared me.

“If it scares you, it’s probably good for you,” he said.

It’s not the kind of advice a teenager wants to hear. But, he was right.

The other thing Haynes often told me was, “Life is not about the destination we achieve but the journey we take getting there.”

So often we forget to enjoy life because we’re so busy trying to get where we’re going.

And that is exactly where I was the day I graduated from high school.

I was scared. I was in a hurry to grow up. I was in a rush to get away from all that was known and familiar despite my instincts to cling to those things.

If I were to go back now and give myself a little bit of advice, it would go something like this:

Slow down! Knock down the walls you put up. Stop letting fear get in the way. Realize that while you think you know everything you need to know to survive, you don’t, not at all. And that is OK. Better than OK. You are a sponge. Take in everything. Learn to accept constructive criticism. From here on out you will have to work your butt off. There is no cruise control now if you want to accomplish your goals. Never be afraid to be your biggest fan and advocate while you build a fan club of your own.

Most important, remember that if anything goes wrong, it is not the end of the world as you know it. Instead, it’s a detour on the journey of your life, so learn from your mistakes, move past them and continue on your way. The sooner you learn to cope with and accept responsibility for the setbacks the better off you will be, the fewer you will experience, and the more success you will achieve.

My advice most likely will not apply to everyone but the advice of all my friends surely can.

To all of you preparing to walk across a stage at White River Amphitheatre or ShoWare Center this weekend, slow down, enjoy this moment and remember that life is a journey in which you will remember how you got where you’re going more than the moment you reached your destination.

And congratulations. Toss those mortar boards into the air with pride and relief. You have earned it.

Then in 15 years think back about the moment, the end of one chapter and the start of another, and reflect on what you wish you had known when you flipped your tassel.

You may not remember much else about the day.

Cheers to the graduates!