This column is not a diatribe on how women can’t do men’s work. I believe our young woman can do whatever they want to do. However, there are certain things in my marriage that I expect my husband to do and there are things he expects me to do.
I’m home all day so I cook and do laundry. I expect him to take out the garbage and maintain our cars. Occasionally, tasks bleed over into the other’s territory. If he works late on a Thursday, I’ll put the garbage out on the curb.
On the outside it seems we have a very traditional, 1950s type of marriage: the little woman stays home, keeps house, and raises the kids. The reality of it is, I’m not little, nor am I much of a housekeeper. I’m in charge of the household and it works out for everyone. I saw a quote recently that describes the state of our household: “and God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world, then he made the earth round and laughed and laughed.” That about sums it up; no one here is miserable, though.
But this past weekend, while attempting to honor the sanctity of my husband’s shop time, where he intensely works on a car project to get it done in time for the next car show, my daughter’s car battery quit working.
He knew her battery was showing signs of failure and he kind of took care of it, he found one lying around in his shop. It was brand new when he bought it at a swap meet in an unknown decade, but it was a good deal. I would venture to guess he got it before our children were born or maybe even before we were married.
Though it was dead, he insisted it was still good and just needed to be charged. The car started fairly well for a whole day, maybe two, and then it didn’t.
I leave these things to him, yes I do, but I could’ve told him that would happen. So I grabbed my daughter and went in search of a new battery. My husband really wanted me to get one at Costco because they have the best prices. And I tried. I dropped off the old battery, the guy told me they didn’t carry that kind of battery, then I retrieved the core (old battery), and called my husband. He read the stats off the “new” dead battery and told me to ask if they had that kind. I went back in, stood in line, and finally figured out that Costco doesn’t carry car batteries that small.
That was frustrating, so I did what every other woman who doesn’t know what she’s doing would do, I went to an auto parts franchise and my daughter purchased an expensive battery. And this is no surprise, it didn’t fit right. Oh, there are scientific explanations as to why it was not satisfactory to my husband, but let’s get something straight – I DON’T CARE.
I was done. I told my husband he had to take our daughter back to the store and resolve the problem properly. Of course, he found a cheaper one at Fred Meyer in the right size. He should have taken the time to do it right to begin with instead of wasting my time.
Women can accomplish anything they want, unless they didn’t want to in the first place. There are some tasks you shouldn’t send your wife to do.
Gretchen Leigh is a stay-at-home mom who lives in Covington. You can read more of her writing and her daily blog on her website livingwithgleigh.com or on Facebook at “Living with Gleigh,” or twitter @livewithgleigh. Her column is available every week atmaplevalleyreporter.com under the Lifestyles section.
