My family and I spent an exorbitant amount of time together over the holidays. I’m not really sure it was more than we usually would over any break, but it seemed like it. Maybe because of my MIL’s passing. She was a large presence in our lives and Christmas was her ultimate party. So for all the years I’ve known my husband and the whole of our children’s lives, our Christmas Day’s attention was focused on my MIL’s desire to gather the family.
Even driving to a couple different parties it seemed there was more laughter, more closeness. During one such outing to a cousin’s house, the kids were remembering a time when they were out on a paddleboat in front of her home and though they got themselves out there, they lost their paddle synchrony and couldn’t get back.
Fighting broke out, punches were thrown, yet they were still stuck in the middle of the lake in a paddle boat. Eventually, they calmed themselves enough to compromise and paddle back in. Of course, the story is hilarious, made more so by my sudden idea of a possible parenting technique — when your kids aren’t getting along, strand them in the middle of a lake in a paddle boat.
We visited my FIL on Christmas Day and had a little picnic. He wasn’t particularly aware of the event, so we didn’t stay long. He has Alzheimer’s and aside from the festive decorations, he didn’t understand the significance. It was still nice to spend that time with our kids, as they don’t see him as often as my husband and I.
After we had our picnic of smoked salmon, his favorite, we headed off to start new family traditions. My daughters still live at home and commute to college, but I can see that soon our family outings will most likely end. So I’m not sure if our extra bonding was because death was still shadowing our doorstep, highlighting life’s preciousness, or if we clung together more because times like that will be fewer and farther between.
We saw a movie that Christmas Day, then headed to Shari’s for pie shakes and dinner (because who doesn’t like a pie shake?), only to find hundreds of other people had the same idea. Then we tried a Chinese restaurant with the same results. So we headed home and ate Christmas Eve leftovers, which was not settling as it was prime rib and candied yams. We put on a couple favorite Christmas movies and laughed our way through the evening.
Now with everyone back in school and work, and the holidays behind us, surprisingly my kids aren’t finished with my husband and me. They’ve been interested in eating at the dinner table when we everyone is home, which isn’t often, but seems to happen a couple days a week.
Hilarity often ensues. We talk about their childhoods and the funny things they thought and did. Most recently how children take things so literally. My youngest recalled a preschool situation when the teacher told one of the boys (because boys always were the wild cards in preschool) not to paint the red barn so thick because, “the paint will never dry.” My daughter remembered stressing over the idea of permanently wet paint and tread carefully with a paint brush after that.
Sure I joke that my daughters will never leave home, but I still like spending time with them. I feel fortunate they feel the same about my husband and me. It’s nice that we don’t always outgrow everything in life.
Gretchen Leigh is a stay-at-home mom who lives in Covington. You can read more of her writing on her website livingwithgleigh.com, follow her on Facebook at “Living with Gleigh by Gretchen Leigh”or on Twitter @livewithgleigh. Her column is also available at maplevalleyreporter.com under the Life section.