My youngest daughter and my adopted middle daughter graduated this last weekend. I threw them and all their friends a big party. The funny thing is the kids didn’t have their usual energy, even for the biggest celebration of their young lives. They all sat around in stunned silence, not believing graduation had actually happened and they were no longer welcome at school. The automated voice of the principal would never again call their parents because they missed a class.
Not only their alma mater, but no institution will ever inform their parents of anything (except the bill for college tuition). No one will care if they miss assignments, fail classes, skip out on work, or don’t perform efficiently. They are officially released of their own recognizance.
Most of the graduates spent the night at our house for an after party party, though they never did claim the energy of their former high school selves. I guess it was camaraderie to wallow in reality and commiserate their new life as adults. I also know they were tired. It was an emotional week for them as they said good bye to beloved teachers, officially checked out of school, and practiced for the graduation ceremony. My adopted daughter took an unprecedented nap every day last week from the stress of it all.
The morning after the celebration did not bring them a renewed sense of freedom. For some of them without definite plans, all they felt was dread. Others had more direction with college or summer jobs. My youngest didn’t have time to ruminate, because she got a job and had to go through orientation and training these last two weeks of school. She’s extra tired, but wasn’t able decompress because she had to get upSunday morning for her first official day of work.
Two of the others were picked up before 8 in the morning for other family celebrations and the remaining girls kind of slogged out of the house shortly after my daughter went off to work. My middle, adopted daughter had to pack the remainder of her belongings to move back to her parents’ house. She started a job bright early Monday morning near her old stomping grounds.
Normally, when we reach huge milestones, they don’t change our lives in general. Obviously, graduating from anything is an exception, but I didn’t expect it to affect me. When I turned 50, in spite of the huge party I threw for myself, everything remained the same and I went about my business. However, when I woke this morning, I had a whole different sense of how my life had just dramatically changed. I wasn’t sure I liked it, but as I drifted through the morning, I got more comfortable with the idea.
My biological daughters are still living in our home, but now that they are both working, there’s not much in the way of coordinating I need to do. I’ll still do laundry and make dinner, but it will be based on my husband’s and my schedules not theirs. Now I’m not the one who has to do all the time management around here, the kids will handle their own work and eating times. No action on my part required.
Heck, with my daughters on totally different routines from my husband and me, I may even push dinner from 2:30 all the way to 4. I could even do laundry on Tuesday instead of Monday if I want. The possibilities for my future are endless.
Gretchen Leigh is a stay-at-home mom who lives in Covington. You can read more of her writing and her daily blog on her website livingwithgleigh.com or on Facebook at “Living with Gleigh,” or twitter @livewithgleigh. Her column is available every week atmaplevalleyreporter.com under the Lifestyles section.
