Even though my oldest daughter has held down her current job for a year with no help from me, I still struggle not to interfere. I find myself thinking of excuses to casually go into her room when I think she should be up to go to work. It takes a creative mind to casually waltz into your grown daughter’s bedroom with a good reason for waking her up a half hour before her alarm goes off.

Her hours at work vary and when she first started there I attempted not to ask her every day if and when she was working. When they were in high school it was best if I didn’t know when they had homework because I couldn’t resist judging how they were doing at keeping up. In other words, if they were handling things as I would.

There were many times when I needed to intervene in their formative years. I remember going with my oldest in her freshman year of high school to the counselor to help her change some classes around. I was reproved and told that she should do it herself. Now here’s where I disagreed – she would have done it herself if she knew how, and once she did, because I walked her through it the first time and gave her the confidence for any future issues, she was able to accomplish the task herself.

The public school system often complains there is not enough parental involvement and here I was reprimanded for being involved. But I know it’s a fine line we parents walk. So with my daughter’s job, I decided that because she lives under my roof, I need to know when she is working for the good of my own schedule and I check with her the night before.

I wouldn’t call myself a helicopter parent, which is defined as a parent who takes an overprotective or excessive interest in the life of their child or children. But I easily could be, so I’m not judging those who are. I was recently reminded of my penchant for such behavior when they were apartment hunting a few weeks ago so they would be close to the college they are starting in January. We found, or rather I found, what I thought would be the perfect set up for them. It was a basement apartment in the home of a single mother.

Though they would only have been fifty minutes away from our house, and there would never be a time when I wouldn’t drop everything and save the day, it was comforting to know there would be a responsible mom nearby. The problem was, I was doing all the communicating with said party until she gently insisted my oldest contact her before she considered renting part of her home out to my kids. I felt duly chastised and suddenly saw myself speaking for my adult children and was rather horrified and embarrassed over it.

Turns out my youngest, who was with me when we checked out the apartment while my oldest was at work, wasn’t comfortable with the situation. Ultimately, they didn’t end up renting any apartment because of costly student loans. They will commute, at least for awhile. I’m proud of them for making that decision and my oldest really does manage waking up on time and getting to work fine without my help.

Yay! I did… I mean, she did it! Maybe that’s the hardest part of all – knowing they don’t need me like they used to.

Gretchen Leigh is a stay-at-home mom who lives in Covington. You can read more of her writing and her blog on her websitelivingwithgleigh.com, on Facebook at “Living with Gleigh.”or follow her on Twitter @livewithgleigh. Her column is available every week at maplevalleyreporter.com under the Lifestyles section.