A few weeks ago, I ran into a couple women with whom I’d been friends when our children were young. We were all in a parent and tots group through our church. There were “teams” of “like-child” parents (all girls, all boys, mixed) and we’d take turns meeting at each other’s houses with the other groups of moms. Though chaotic with all those kids, it was a nice reprieve for us stay-at-home parents to visit with adults.

We were catching up with what our children were doing and I was telling them about my broken heart when my youngest informed me that when she washes her own clothes, she just threw it all in the dryer. My whole sense of being felt violated. All those years of hanging their shirts and jeans to dry so they wouldn’t shrink or wear out was for naught?

I told my friends how I determined from that point on that I would not be doing my daughters’ laundry. Then one of the gals, who shall remain nameless, but she knows who she is, confessed to me she has always been strict about washing all the bedding once a week, including her son’s. Now she calls her son at college to check to see if he washed his sheets that week. “Uh?” I said, “You know he probably just says ‘yes.’” She agreed he may, but at least she feels like he really has.

I know I can be a bit of a helicopter mother (one who constantly hovers and gets in her kids’ business), but I honestly couldn’t care less if my daughters ever wash their sheets. I’ve never been good about washing my own sheets on a regular basis and as soon as my kids were old enough, I turned the responsibility of their bedding over to them. I don’t sleep in their beds and if my husband were to complain about ours, I would point him to the washing machine.

As a society we’ve become obsessed with cleanliness and it’s turned out to be a detriment to our health. Sure, we’re much healthier in our modern world because we understand hygiene practices: not letting sewage run through the streets or letting rodents and insects infest our homes. However, we have also gotten to the point where we’re killing the good bacteria as well as the bad and we’re sick more often. When evaluating my current breathing issues for allergies, my doctor actually asked me if I’m over cleaning my home.

I felt a bit ashamed to admit you’d never find me over-cleaning. I mean, once I got a year’s worth of vacuum bags with the purchase of new vacuum and they lasted me five years. My solution for guests is not to roll around on my carpet when visiting. On the flip side, I clean up the cat barf every day. That’s how the cat and I roll. In other words, you wouldn’t be grossed out coming into my home.

I think the real lesson here is what do we moms expect of ourselves? Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves when our families would probably be fine if we backed off of our homemaking obsessions? They may even celebrate if we weren’t calling them at college and asking them if they washed their sheets.

As for me I have found a new sense of peace now that I have stopped doing my daughters’ laundry. My husband’s and my laundry takes me all of an hour once a week. I have an additional four hours of time one day a week. That’s kind of gold these days as I’m rediscovering my own passions now that my husband is retired. Guess what? My daughters are managing just fine.

It’s OK to not only drop the ball, but to let it roll.

Gretchen Leigh is a stay-at-home mom who lives in Covington. You can read more of her writing on her website livingwithgleigh.com, on Facebook at “Living with Gleigh by Gretchen Leigh.” Her column is available every week at maplevalleyreporter.com under the Life section.