Now that my children are technically grown, I’ve had to find other things to occupy the space in my head that yells at them to do homework. I’ve recently lost a lot of weight, so I have more energy and have begun to consider that I could actually get something done in the evenings. The problem is that my husband likes to hang out in my office, watching TV, and surfing the internet for car parts he doesn’t need.

His penchant for late afternoon/evening computer time is not unusual, but with my new found vigor, I feel like I could work on some projects in my office. Though I really, really, want to blame him for my lack of productivity, I can’t totally make him the scapegoat for my deficiencies. He would leave if I asked, but given that I do need a little sitting time in my lounge chair after dinner, I can’t ask him not to use the office when I’m not in there.

Plus, I’m hard pressed to get myself back up to kick him out of my office, which is a bad habit I’ve settled into. And with any bad habit, it’s way easier to accuse someone else of keeping us from living the dream. But with our middle daughter (a young lady who lived with us last school year) moved out, and my two biological daughters retreating into their own bedrooms again, the family room is free and clear for my husband to use. Sure, there’s not a computer in there, but he has a computer tablet available for all his surfing needs.

So I’m very irritated when my husband comes home from work and sits on the couch we have in the office and talks to me when I’m busy at my desk. Don’t get me wrong, I love talking to my husband, but in that case, I know his real intention – he wants me to leave so he can use the computer. Even if I get up for a second to change out laundry or turn down a boiling pot, I am assured he will have sat in my spot upon my return; the seat not even cold yet. His sudden takeover, even though it’s not a surprise, still feels like a coup (a sudden, violent, and illegal seizure of power).

After all, I don’t go out in his shop and sit my butt down in front of whatever motor he’s working on when he leaves to use my computer. Though I’d like to go in there and organize it for him, but for obvious reasons (like I have no idea what anything is) he doesn’t want me in there.

I’ve tried adding an additional office chair so we could both use the room at once, but neither of us is tiny and the L-shaped desk isn’t that big. Not to mention my husband not only surfs the computer, but also the TV, and I’m not sure he’d live to see our 25th wedding anniversary if I attempted to watch TV with him every night.

I find myself having to stake my claim to what is duly mine, but in a nice way that makes it seem like I’m compromising; meaning, I’ll smile when I kick him out. What I really want to do is have signs printed up that say, “Mom’s: back slowly away from her space and you will not be harmed.” I don’t think it’s too much to ask.

Gretchen Leigh is a stay-at-home mom who lives in Covington. You can read more of her writing and her blog on her website livingwithgleigh.com, on Facebook at “Living with Gleigh.”or follow her on Twitter @livewithgleigh. Her column is available every week at maplevalleyreporter.com under the Lifestyles section.