In June, I declared to my daughters that once college let out for the summer, I would no longer be doing their laundry. My oldest, who had experience living on her own for a year, let out a loud groan. My youngest said, “OK.” So on Monday, June 25, I only did my husband’s and my laundry.

My daughters commute up to Kirkland to attend Lake Washington Technical College and with the driving time and schoolwork I thought doing their laundry would help them out with their busy schedules. But this summer, my oldest has been working part time and my youngest has been searching for a job. I figured it was time to let them take responsibility for their own clothes so I didn’t have to worry about their laundry with my busy summer.

I was going to write “needless to say I was a basket case,” but why would you understand that unless you understood my obsession with laundry? I have a small house, with only a hallway where the washer and dryer is between my bedroom and the kitchen. There is no room for clothes to stack up. Because of that, I do laundry one day a week from beginning to end, with the exception of folding any clothes hanging on the line the following day. My daughters are tall, so I hang shirts and jeans so they don’t have belly shirts and high water pants. I’m so into managing the laundry properly that I think it’s become part of my identity.

My resolve only lasted that one week. It just doesn’t make sense for several people to do separate, smaller loads rather than combine them. I think it’s not only economically efficient, but greener. I asked my daughters to lend a hand more often, especially this summer. They agreed, neither of them protested when I continued with my laundry routine.

Then last Monday, I asked my youngest to come help fold the clothes. I had to hang them in my oldest’s bedroom because of the smoke outside, so my oldest was already there when we appeared. As we were folding I chuckled over my early summer declaration. My youngest said, “It stresses me out that it stresses you out.” I told her it didn’t stress me out, I just didn’t want to be taken for granted. I put a lot of effort into doing it correctly and hanging everything that could shrink. Then my youngest said something that broke my heart, “I just throw everything in the dryer.” My oldest was just sitting there watching it all go down. She said that she groaned early in the summer because she hated having to stop her own life to do her laundry.

I know it’s ridiculous, but I was devastated. I couldn’t believe that I put all that energy in to taking care of their clothes and she just threw them in the dryer. Didn’t she know that doing the laundry was an expression of my love for my family?

Now is the appropriate time to use “needless.” Needless to say, I was done doing their laundry. I suddenly saw that where my oldest didn’t want to stop her life to do laundry, that laundry was my life, even if I only did it once a week. It’s something I’ve always prided myself on. I went to bed distressed with the idea that all I was to anyone was laundry and cooking.

In the morning, I woke up with a sense of freedom. Unknowingly, with her confession, my youngest had set me free. I am Mama, hear me roar, “I AM MORE THAN COOKING AND LAUNDRY!”

Gretchen Leigh is a stay-at-home mom who lives in Covington. You can read more of her writing on her website livingwithgleigh.com, or follow her on Facebook at “Living with Gleigh by Gretchen Leigh. Her column is always available at maplevalleyreporter.com under the Life section.