I’ve often heard that when people retire, they get into a funk because they suddenly feel they have no purpose. They’ve lost their place to go every day and flail in a world that continues moving around them. Not my husband. He not only does not miss going to work, he doesn’t randomly wake up at 3:30 in the morning just because he always had to before. He has a whole shop full of projects to keep him going into the foreseeable future, not to mention any household projects I have for him. No, my husband has slid into retirement like he was always meant to be there. I, however, am completely lost.

My job hasn’t changed. I’m still cooking, doing laundry, writing this column, and everything else it takes to run a household, but my daily time markers are gone. In the past, I was used to being home all day by myself, the kids went off to school, my husband to work. My time was dictated by their schedules. Then my daughters started college and their classes were such that with their commute and differing schedules, one or the other was home many of the hours I used to be alone. It was a good transition to never being alone once my husband retired. As I’ve stated before, I love having him home, we get lots of maintenance projects accomplished that I can’t do by myself and it’s nice to check in with him all day when we’re doing our own thing.

But for the most part, I have no idea what day it is much less what time it is. I am hard-pressed to maintain a routine with him around all day, it’s like a perpetual weekend. During the week he was gone in the morning when I woke up, so it was easier for me to get out of bed and go swimming at 6:00am. Now, I don’t like crawling out of bed when someone is sound asleep next to me. I know he did it for 23 years after our oldest was born and I began my career as a stay-at-home mom, but I’m not going off to make a living, it’s just swimming. The hour before he got home from work I used to start dinner. And though it was far too early by anybody’s standards, he was home early afternoon and we ate dinner by 3 p.m. Now I’m enjoying eating at a normal dinner hour, but it’s difficult for me to wrap my head around what even to cook for dinner.

For some reason, now that dad is home all day, everyone’s eating preferences have changed. My family has become pickier about leftovers and I’m throwing a lot of food away, which makes me feel like a failure. I notice the difference because my husband used to take leftovers for lunch. He doesn’t gravitate towards them naturally, as he would rather “run an errand” and get himself a burger than dig through the fridge and heat food up. So not only can I not get a grip on a schedule, I can’t get a grip on dinner.

Now we’re coming into summer and I’m aware that this is not the time of year to establish a new routine because even when my husband was working there was nothing normal about our summers. I feel like my only hope is to ride out the next few months and look towards the fall when car shows are over and I can focus on life at home. But if you see me aimlessly wandering around town, just tell me to go home and start dinner.

Gretchen Leigh is a stay-at-home mom who lives in Covington. You can read more of her writing on her website livingwithgleigh.com, on Facebook at “Living with Gleigh by Gretchen Leigh.” Her column is available every week at maplevalleyreporter.com under the Life section.