I told my daughter to pick up the blanket and cot her friend slept on the one night. I have dowels at the end of the hall where I hang blankets.

To gather up a large blanket, fold it in a reasonably neat fashion and pull it over the dowel does take some effort, but it’s very doable, I do it all the time.

But those three tasks required to put the blanket away apparently overwhelmed my teen because the next day I noticed my daughter hadn’t picked up the cot and blanket yet.

Being a mom, I thought to myself “I should hang the blanket for her because it’s hard to do.” Then I realized my daughter is taller than me and could physically handle the task of folding and hanging a blanket. So if she can physically handle something and she doesn’t do it, it must be a mental issue.

I often find myself doing things for my kids they are perfectly capable of doing themselves. It has occurred to me lately they are not little anymore and they are probably able to do more than I require or expect them do.

I often jump in to rescue them with the mindset that they are “children” and are not capable. I’ve gotten so used to doing it that my sister actually pointed out to me that I tend to answer questions directed at them.

They have not yet learned to problem solve and multi-task the way only a college graduate or mother has learned. The issue stems not only from my over-mothering, but from their lack of patience and/or stamina to attempt something that seems remotely difficult or new.

I told one of my daughters to take out the garbage yesterday, a task dad usually handles. She told me she didn’t know how to take out the garbage.

I stood there stunned into silence – with oh so many sarcastic comments running through my head – over why a teenager who knows how to take out the recycle could not figure out how to take out the garbage.

“I don’t know how” is only one way they try to get out of tasks, their other method is to plead helplessness. They often want help doing something I perform everyday alone probably while also cooking dinner.

They just don’t want to put themselves out for a household task they have no interest in doing. There are many tasks which are on their “helpless” list that they assume requires mother-intervention: they cannot or will not figure out how to open a door with their hands full; move things aside so as to find something in the fridge, cupboard, closet, bin, counter, drawer, etc.; take all their jeans off the clothes line, not just the pair they need; wash the pots and pans while they are doing the dishes unless I specifically tell them to; search for something they have lost if mom doesn’t know where it is. There are many more which I won’t list due to lack of space. But if it seems difficult or more energy than they are willing to expend, they don’t do it.

I should recognize the signs before it happens: glazed over eyes, exasperated sighs, eye rolling, “I know, mom” impatience. When these are present, they will most definitely not be able to perform a task or find an object. Unfortunately, those signs are often present for every interaction I suggest or require. But there is an extra feeling of vexation when they are prepared to try and drop the ball on a task.

I can’t really explain what it is, but if you have teens you know what I’m talking about.

I can spot the signs in other people’s teens too. I can look at the body language when they are speaking to their parents and I know if their parents are asking them to do something “unreasonable.”

If I know the teen and parent well enough, I will say to the teen: “Quit acting like a teen, I can see you across the room.” The teen will look at me in surprise and the parent will grin in heartfelt comradeship.

I know it doesn’t earn me any extra points in parenting; I just like other parents to know they aren’t alone.

Gretchen Leigh is a stay-at-home mom who lives in Covington. She is committed to writing about the humor amidst the chaos of a family. You can read more of her writing and her daily blog on her website livingwithgleigh.com.