One day I replaced the soap pump in my daughters’ bathroom as my oldest was standing there. When I got upset that I had purchased a straight soap dispenser and not a foaming soap dispenser, my daughter asked what the problem was. I explained to her it just dispensed straight soap instead of foaming soap. She said,”So?”

I looked up at my, 5 foot, 10 inch daughter and it slowly occurred to me that the reason for having a foaming dispenser was gone. I pictured the 4-year old little girl and her sister playing in the sink, pretending to be on some great water adventure, while squirting a whole bottle of hand soap down the sink. I remembered thinking what a genius someone was by inventing the foaming dispenser, where they could play in the sink for hours and only use a ½-inch of soap.

After I got through the initial shock of realizing I no longer needed to buy foaming soap, I couldn’t help but wonder when they became old enough to control their soap usage; or for that matter, when they quit pretending. I wish I had known it was coming; I would have taken a picture of the last time.

But the thing about children growing up is they don’t realize it themselves. I’m sure they don’t play in the sink one day and think, “This is the last time I’ll ever play in the sink,” or play dress up and start pretending, only to say to each other, “This is it, this is the last time we are going to play dress up and pretend to go on a great adventure, so we better enjoy it.”

It’s like the greeting cards they used to have when I was a kid; the kind you had to push the button to hear the music. If you looked on the back of them, they usually had a disclaimer that stated something like

“Good for 5000 pushes,” so you knew you couldn’t push the button indefinitely. I guess kids are the same way. I knew when I had them they wouldn’t act like little kids indefinitely. Except I can’t look on the back of my kids and see the disclaimer that states how many times they will engage in childish play. It’s a bitter sweet concept. We really do want them to grow up and become functioning, independent adults. We really don’t want them to live with us forever. But at the same time, it’s heart wrenching when they pass each stage of their lives; more so, because we are caught unaware it’s about to happen. We often don’t even realize it’s happened, until a substantial amount of time has passed.

When my kids were little, I vowed never to leave them home alone. In my mind, I imagined my sweet, little 3-year old sitting alone in the house with no one to care for her or keep her safe. But one day, when my oldest daughter’s age hit the double digits, I found myself leaving them alone for an hour; cell phone in hand, ready to fly back home the moment they called to be rescued. They did call… to ask if they could eat the candy they somehow unearthed in the bottom of the pantry.

Then before I knew it, the oldest was a teen and their dad and I realized we could leave the house and have a date night without getting a sitter; what freedom! One of my girlfriends, whose children are little, told me last year she would never be able to leave her kids home alone. I just smiled. It’s the great secret of parenting, only discovered when you have teens of your own; because until they are teens, you never believe it will happen.

When they become teens, they turn into sullen, mono-syllable-answering children in grown up bodies. They enter into the vortex of being old enough to be responsible for themselves, yet too immature to be responsible for themselves. I think nature makes this happen so we are happy to see them go. I wish now more than ever they had a disclaimer on their backs. I would turn them around and read “This child will stop acting like a teenager after pushing your buttons 5000 times.”

Gretchen Leigh is a stay-at-home mom and writer committed to writing about the humor amidst the chaos of a family. You can read her daily blog or reach her at herwebsite livingwithgleigh.com.