I wasn’t going to write about Halloween today because frankly, I’m over it. Or rather my kids are over it. They are essentially adults (though they are not adults in my eyes until I say they are), and not having trick or treated for a few years, they are off doing their own thing. But I’m writing about it because the thought of them on their own kind of stresses me out.

Just last week a major event happened that has shaken my world and probably added to my Halloween angst. Both my daughters found a college they want to attend starting winter quarter. Having factored in all the transportation and living options, it makes the most sense that they’d get a room or an apartment together near the school. So if all goes as somewhat planned (because they haven’t been planning that long), they will be living away from home by the beginning of the new year. What have I done?

As much as I’d like them to commute to the eastside area from our south king county home so I can see them every day, my senses (good or bad?) tell me it would be healthier for them to stay near school. Three hours or more driving a nasty commute or around five hours on the bus would really take a chunk out of their homework and school community time. I think it’s important for them to focus on both without the added hassle of commuting. What have I done?

Though I’m relieved they have some direction now, I feel as if I’ve shot myself in the foot. It was my oldest daughter’s idea to visit the school. I always go with them because I’m the one who co-signs the loan, but I made my youngest go too. I wanted her to see more options; expand her horizons; think outside the box. She had planned to start at Green River winter quarter because she felt she should do something, so she planned to take a few art classes. It was a short drive from our home. But finding the opportunity to study right away exactly what she wanted in a less-expensive public school setting turned out to be too fantastic to resist. What have I done?

In a couple short months, with both of them out of the house, I may be sitting here with only the cats to write about. Why is it our family can’t do anything with a sense of normalcy? The oldest goes off to college, a few years later the youngest follows suit, giving me a weaning period. But no, the oldest went off to college, landed back home in a ball of flames, the youngest started her senior year and her best friend moved in. I went from three in the house to five in 60 seconds flat. Though her friend moved out after graduation, we were just getting used to being a family of four again. Now this new development threatens my very existence and they want to take one of the cats with them on top of it. What have I done?

This brings me back to Halloween. But it’s not about Halloween at all. Halloween is only the exclamation point to my future. It’s about me not having the time to ease into their independence; quite abruptly not being involved with them every day. Not seeing them head down the street with their father; Halloween buckets swinging in their little hands.

What have I done?

Gretchen Leigh is a stay-at-home mom who lives in Covington. You can read more of her writing and her blog on her website livingwithgleigh.com, on Facebook at “Living with Gleigh” or follow her on Twitter @livewithgleigh. Her column is available every week at maplevalleyreporter.com under the Life section.